Unexpected Delay for Activists


This is an updated report for our current activists attending today’s protest that all Seattle bike lanes are currently packed as all activists left their houses at the same exact fucking time. Some opted to riding on the sidewalks, but due to the height of curbs and thinness of city bike wheels, many have slammed their helmets and faces into the concrete while attempting to avert around the traffic. Even if successful at conquering the curb, the poor state of sidewalks has sent cyclists flying in all directions as they overlook that giant gaping hole on Madison. “These are just the perils of social justice” said one activist as he aggressively adjusted his gears in anticipation of the slight impending incline. “If you want to fight the power, you gotta keep pushing through.” He later declared this as bullshit after two hours of idling and went home to sigh over his French Press.



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