WASHINGTON D.C. – Amidst heavy pressure from Congress and socially-aware fans, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has decided to penalize the Washington Redskins 165 yards per game during the 2015 regular season.
The penalties coincide with a recent NFL rule that prohibits the use of racial slurs on the field. Violations of the rule result in a fifteen yard penalty against the infracting team. There are eleven players on the field for each team at any given time, so eleven walking violations of the rule results in a 165 yard penalty per game.
“I’ve received a lot of feedback from many concerned fans and politicians. I hear them loud and clear. We need real solutions for these kind of problems,” said Goodell in a press conference. “Penalizing the Redski- penalizing Washington should discourage the team from continuing to exhibit racist behavior. These are the first steps toward a colorblind NFL.” The penalties will be tested in the 2015 preseason before carrying through to the regular season.
When asked if the Redskins would be penalized in the playoffs as well, Goodell responded with, “Let’s focus on the issue at hand. The NFL isn’t worried about hypotheticals at the moment.”
– Donnie Rhoads