Hard Copy Book Review: David Cameron’s 160 Shades of Red

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In an exclusive interview with Hard Copy, David Cameron describes his most recent work: 160 Shades of Red. Mr. Cameron is the leader of the Conservative Party which recently won a majority in the Parliament of the United Kingdom, with him as Prime Minister.

Question: Mr. Cameron, what was your goal with your most recent work?

Answer: You know, I really wanted to write a book about my plan for the future of the United Kingdom. I really think that this work really speaks to that.

Question: What is the significance of the title: 160 Shades of Red?

Answer: As a matter of fact, the UK spent £160.2 Billion in Welfare in 2011-2012. That includes the housing benefit — which provides rental support for low income people — the disability living allowance, income support, child benefit, and more than 10 other programs. Red signifies the delicious cuts to the meaty British Welfare State — £160 Billion of ‘em.

Question: What effects do you think this will have on the citizens of the UK? Do you think that it an equitable way of going about budget reform?

Answer: What Labor and their SNP lap-dogs don’t understand is that there is simply no money left. The poor have sapped away all of the money from this Kingdom and it is time that they pitch in their fair share. No longer will the hordes of the unemployed line up around the block — instead they will have to learn that only through work can they be saved. In the Tory Manifesto, we cited that 1,000 jobs were created each day that the 2010 Parliament was in session. Imagine the job growth if we raised the retirement age to 95 and ended disability insurance!

Question: Mr. Cameron, you seem very excited about much of the content of your recent work, would you mind sitting down so we can continue the interview?

Answer: Absolutely. I apologize, I get very umm — worked up, when I start talking about 160 Shades of Red.

Question: Thank you. Have you considered a more balanced approach to restructuring Government Expenditure? What about reducing farm subsidies or ending the tax benefit afforded to wealthy non-domiciles?

Answer: The Wealthy are the cornerstone of British Society! If we want to return to being the strongest Empire, we need to look at what policies made that possible. One of my friends from the UKIP leadership recommended that I read this short story by Jonathan Swift called A Modest Proposal. Honestly, I think that it offers a lot of good ideas for our current predicament with the growing dole queue, those pesky Scots, and all of these other intruders. Furthermore, I think the UK needs to create a better business culture by cutting red tape. Let’s start with the Human Rights Act — a needless boondoggle that costs millions of pounds in litigation costs. Then we can look at farm subsidies. I think that is all the time I have for questions at the moment, I think I need to use the W.C. to umm, take care of something.

At this moment, Mr. Cameron has left the room. I must say that he seemed to rather enjoy talking about 160 Shades of Red, certainly the most excited author that I have ever had the privilege of interviewing.

— Mark Wilson

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