Middle Aged Mom on Facebook Harasses Daughter’s Friends with Incessant Activity

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Empty nester, Kristi Bachmeier, mother of Brittany Bachmeier, has taken to terrorizing her daughter’s friends who hesitantly added her on Facebook just to be polite. Shared cat videos, political endorsements eighteen months before the election, cheesy quotes and graphics made in 2007, and Facebook “poking” have been reported to nauseate and annoy Kristi’s “friends.”

“I never talk to Brittany anymore,” says twenty-year-old Amari Williams, “Anything significant she does is posted by her mother—via screenshot.” “I’m tired of declining her invitation to play Candy Crush,” says Maddie Garcia, another victim and current classmate of Brittany’s, “You’d think by now she’d get the message.” “The worst of it,” according to Elizabeth DeYoung, Brittany’s childhood best friend and next-door neighbor, “are her comments on articles she shares. They’re either unnecessary, give too much information into her personal life, or are blatantly racist. Honestly, I’m sick of seeing her face on my newsfeed… Though, their recent trip to Hawaii looked pretty cool.”

At time of press, Kristi had managed to post her social security number in the comment section of a new “Lite Strawberry-Limeade Margarita,”recipe, truly reaching her goal of being a “cool mom.”

– V. H. Latham

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