Turf War Erupts over Library Study Rooms


SEATTLE – Twelve students are in critical condition at the Swedish Medical Center after a massive turf war erupted in the Lemieux Library. The clash between students began over study rooms, which have become increasingly valuable and sought-after as finals week begins to ramp up. An estimated seventy-two students participated in the battle, and three are still missing entirely. Their identities have not been released.

At 11 am on Sunday, the library doors opened to a flood of rabid, caffeine-crazed students. Many sprinted to the nearest available study room, and the event quickly turned violent once the rooms started filling up. By 11:15, ten students were unconscious and the remaining brawlers had caused an estimated $75,000+ in property damage.

“When you’re in there, when you know that the room means the difference between an A and a B, you forget about morality,” said Owen Goetze, a participant in the conflict. “I don’t remember everything that happened… but I can still hear the screams.”

Seattle University Public Safety interjected at approximately 11:19 am, using segways to outmaneuver students and tear gas to peacefully and calmly defuse the conflict. Early reports indicated that engineering students sparked the fighting, but more and more accounts are pointing toward the nursing students as the primary assailants. At this time, the administration has not announced any disciplinary measures.

– Donnie Rhoads


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