Summertime Sadness Hits Students Not Going Abroad

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After repeating the answer “I’m looking forward to summer break. I finally get a chance to relax.” twenty times to their curious friends, the five students who are not going abroad this summer, are finally being hit with the Summer Time Sadness.

“It happens to a lot of students,” said Ilana Beck, an advisor at Seattle University, “ they set out thinking they are content with having mediocre plans like working summer jobs, getting a good rest, or hanging out with friends. But once they move out of their overcrowded living situations, they suddenly realize that the stress associated with being dropped into a foreign country, living with strangers, and the inability to converse with anyone, is ideal and the whole mission of our university. This induces sadness. Lana Del Rey captured it perfectly in her song. Summertime sadness is a real thing and those five students who neglected to acquire $20,000 are going to go through hell.”

At press time, one of the students was sitting in their backyard listening to Will Smith’s popular song “Summertime,” yet had drunkenly queued up Lana just as the first tears began to well up in his eyes.

-whorf

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