2015 Recap: SGSU Quietly Fixes Every #FixItSGSU Issue

sgsu
While students frantically studied for finals and moved out of their dorms, SGSU reportedly solved every #FixItSGSU issue that was recorded over social media. The campaign will continue, but at this point there aren’t many issues that need to be fixed.

Here is a list of a small portion of the issues solved:

  • The Bellarmine Hall elevators are fully operational

  • The Bistro no longer messes up ANY orders

  • ADMN now has working air conditioning

  • All contingent/adjunct faculty have received benefits and job security

  • Seattle’s viaduct replacement is complete (possibly the work of a fraternity)

  • Political tension and violence in the Middle East has dissipated

  • Donald Trump has a new haircut

  • Donald Trump has withdrawn his candidacy for 2016

  • Donald Trump has stopped being an asshole in general

  • Leonardo DiCaprio has been awarded an Oscar

  • People have stopped using the word “literally” wrong

  • Ted Cruz has withdrawn his candidacy for 2016

All in all, the list above represents a miniscule fraction of the issues solved by SGSU. Hard Copy has yet to find an issue that currently needs solving. #ThanksSGSU

– Donnie Rhoads

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