Local Woman Plays Deadly Game of “I Think It’s Only A Fart”

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Edmonds, WA—After a late tapas lunch with friends and downing four glasses of white wine, a local woman who’d like to stay anonymous, lifted up her left cheek to let out the usual I-just-had-too-much-white-wine fart, which was expertly covered up by recently divorced Tammy’s shrill of a laugh about how she’s coping without Jeff. What was not hidden, however, was the local woman’s face as she contemplated on whether that audible fart that sounded like wet sponges slapping thighs was an innocent wine fart, or if she indeed, sharted her pants.

Shifting around to see if anything was new about her under garments, she discerned whether or not to excuse herself or stay put. Given that any liquid can seep through all fabrics within a window of ten-seconds, she opted for the latter option and prayed to the gods of BravoTV that she was not in fact sitting in her own filth.

-whorf

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