Seattle, WA- A new dating craze is sweeping through the halls of Albers, as business students are increasingly choosing LinkedIn over Tinder as their dating app of choice. “It’s just a lot more professional, ya know?” explains sophomore Lucas Cheely. “Plus if I look at a girl’s LinkedIn page, she knows I was there and can see what I’m about. With Tinder it’s just too hard to make an impression and show off all my accolades.” While the website is traditionally used for networking with people in your field and workplace, the business bro’s of Seattle U have found clever ways to use its features to shamelessly hit on girls.
“I’ll scroll through suggested people until I find someone appealing and then connect with them. If they accept, I usually start with some small business talk, before turning up the heat. If I sense things are going well, I’ll endorse their ass – Like I will literally endorse their ass.” Cheely says his endeavors have produced largely negative results, but assured Hard Copy that it is just a matter of time before he is drowning in “business babes.”
Sophomore accounting major Nicole Christine has been on the receiving end of the new trend, and regretfully connected with Cheely last week. “We had some classes together, so I accepted his connection request. He kept sending me cheesy pick up lines, and then endorsed my ass. I had to explain to a potential employer why my ass was endorsed.”