Woman Believes in Biblical Definition of Marriage; Was Traded to Husband for Livestock

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In a heartwarming act of true love and devotion, a woman declared her belief of a biblical definition of marriage. Her father (who owns her right to marry) immediately traded her to a man for three goats and several bushels of wheat.

“I am hoping that she is not infertile, for I wish to have many sons,” said the husband, who also has two other wives from neighboring kingdoms. “I am going to need more labor in order to make up for those goats! Praise be to Elohim for a good harvest.”

When interviewed, the newlywed wife commented about the ‘modern’ biblical definition of marriage: “So many see it as ‘a man marrying a woman’- few people realize that the biblical definition of marriage is so much more. Thank goodness for Leviticus! Now I know to not wear clothes of different fabrics simultaneously, or to not get any tattoos.”

— Donnie Rhoads

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