Scientists Developing a Vaccine to Curb Resting Bitch Face Epidemic


STARK LAB- Resting Bitch Face, commonly referred to by scientists as “RBF”, is a disease of the facial muscles that plagues millions worldwide. Most commonly seen in women, the condition is easily identified by a tendency for the face to look hostile and/or judgmental at rest.

Leading scientists from Oxford Vaccine Group have been hopeful that they will be able to grow the RBF virus in a lab without the use of live animals. Stacey Smith, data scientist and the leader of the project to stop RBF states, “The cell cultures have been very cooperative, and we are expecting that we will be testing a vaccination within the next six to nine months.”

This breakthrough comes just as we begin to see an increase in Starbucks coffee sales, a phenomena that has been consistently linked with cases of RBF among Caucasian women and teens.

-Summer Diegel


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