Shocking: Honors Student Explodes from Not Telling Others about Being Honors Student

student

Seattle, WA- In a somber tragedy, Theresa Alfon blew up on Monday after going a whole day without telling a fellow student that she was in the honors college. Her death was a surprise to most, as her classmates all attested to how much she loved to bring up the fact in irrelevant conversation. “She would tell me she was in the honors college before complaining about how much reading she had or how she understood things on a deeper level than me. So I was a little worried when she hadn’t mentioned it at all on Monday, but I figured she had probably just got it out of her system in an earlier class,” said classmate Jeremiah Pool. The University was extremely concerned, and assured they go to great lengths to prevent this from happening, stating that “We train all the honors students to bring it up at least 4 times a day, just to be safe. They have to go through a week of conversation training before they begin classes. This is an awful tragedy, and we will continue to take every precaution we can to make sure this does not happen.”

— Juan Albrook

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