TED CRUZ’S LAPTOP – In an attempt to stay relevant among millennial voters and the mysterious “4chans”, Ted Cruz googled the definition of a “meeme” and discovered a whole new world of comedy and inspiration.
“The Pepe frog man is my new favorite,” commented an overly-excited Cruz. “I’ve already collected 18 ultra-rares. One of them even has my face on it!”
Ted Cruz hasn’t appeared at his last two campaign rallies. Sources report that Cruz is spending dawn til dusk browsing dank memes on his laptop, chugging Mountain Dew and stuffing his face with Doritos.
— Donnie Rhoads