GOP Adds “Fracking” to List of Official Family Values


Earlier this week, the GOP updated their website to reflect that fracking is now one of their Official Family Values, alongside items such as tradition, hard work, and undying stubbornness in the face of a scientific consensus about climate change.

When asked to comment on the addition, Donald Trump said:

“I love the change. Oh my god, I love the change. And fracking- I love it. Let me tell you about fracking. Because, let me tell you- because the democrats always go ‘ooh we gotta ban the fracking and this and that and we gotta ban the oil’. It’s terrible, it’s just terrible. I know, it really is terrible. And I promise you, I know fracking. I know fracking, I really do. Oh my god, we’re gonna make fracking great again, believe me. And fracking is gonna save us, by the way- they won’t tell you that, the media won’t tell you that fracking is gonna save this economy. They really won’t. It’s a shame, I tell you. We’re gonna make media great again. God bless all of you.”

— Donnie Rhoads


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