Editorial: I’m Excited To See Another Giant Death Star Thing In Next Star Wars


I love Star Wars. Who doesn’t, really? Losers and lame-o’s, that’s for sure. How can they dislike when Luke destroyed the first Death Star? Or when the Lando Calrissian and the Millennium Falcon destroyed the second Death Star? Or when Poe Dameron destroyed the massive and deadly Starkiller Base, which was like a bajillion times bigger than the other Death Stars?!

I’ll keep coming back to watch more Star Wars if they keep discovering and destroying massive spherical death machines. I predict that Star Wars Episode VIII will feature a galaxy-sized mobile spaceship called Kylo Ren’s Laser Den, and it’ll be able to shoot 420 laser beams per second. Now THAT is classic Star Wars.

Dear Mr. J.J. Lucas, please make more giant Death Star things. Let’s be honest- those big explosions are why Star Wars is so successful. Forget the emotion, the storytelling, the non-combat visuals, the soundtrack, or the acting- MORE DEATH STAR THINGS.

— Donnie Rhoads


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