BREAKING: Seattle University Student Who Was Going to “Stay Organized” This Quarter Already Panicking, Drinking Heavily


THE LIBRARY?- Hard Copy has been receiving numerous reports from inside sources at Seattle University that many students are already “over it.” On Monday March 28th the university resumed from Spring Break. In just one week, there have been sightings of mass nappings in front of the library, friendly conversations, and overall procrastination. On Friday evening, Student X was seen at noon without their backpack. This sighting suggests that all intentions to “stay on top of homework” this quarter have been thrown out the window in lieu of the student’s desire to drink too many Rainers and fall off several of the uncomfortable chairs found in an acquaintance’s dorm room in Campion. It has been suggested by several scholars that there is a positive correlation between sunshine and getting-nothing-done among Seattle students. We just hope you use those color coded notebooks you bought for $5.99 each.

–Fran Tick


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