Shoreline, WA — After getting off the number 65 bus, Seattle University history adjunct and union advocate Dave Pinenut opened the door to his apartment, went to his bathtub and filled it with a “fat stack” of hundred dollar bills. His purpose: a bath.
“Man this adjunct business just keeps me rolling in the dough!” exclaimed Pinenut as he lit a cigar with one of the bills “and this unionization thing is going to keep this gravy train rolling!”
When pressed for more details, the adjunct in the History Department listed the long list of benefits that the University provides: subsidized bus pass, healthcare, dental care, vision care, pension, 401 (k), free tuition to extended family, veterinarian care, free books at the library, and a private airplane of choice at Boeing.
At time of publication, Pinenut cackled as he thought about how [the union advocates] had even convinced the student government and the students that the adjuncts were oppressed.