If you prefer single-stuffed oreos, you are a sad person who doesn’t even deserve Oreos. Don’t you realize what you’re doing to the Oreo market? If you keep buying single-stuffed, they’ll keep making them.
Where do you get off, anyways? Don’t tell me you actually like the cookie part more than the cream. At the very least, the cookie-to-cream ratio is way too low! You have an agenda, don’t you? Who’s paying you? Is there some kind of single-stuffed secret society?
Please, listen to reason. Single-stuffed Oreos simply shouldn’t exist.
— Donnie Rhoads