Berkeley, CA — Local middle-aged white man and self-described anarchist Josh Ayers has reportedly “lost some of the energy of the revolution” and mellowed to a mere socialist. Ayers, a copy and printing specialist at FedEx told local media that he had the revelation “sometime between his smoke break and lunch”.
“Yeah man, like I just don’t see the necessity of having complete worker self-management in place of the existing power hierarchies”, Ayers said before taking a drag on his cigarette, “I’m starting to see the need for some sort of workers’ state as more feasible — especially after I saw what Larry was doing during work last week. Man that guy is just too much sometimes”.
At the end of the press conference, Ayers clarified that although he now supports some sort of wage based system of distribution he still believes in direct action and will be attending the next protest. Whatever and whenever that may be.
— Mark Wilson