Top 8 Reignite the Mission Demands

Reignite the Mission (RTM), is a student organization at Seattle University that “exists to catalyze transformation at SU in order to end racism, sexism, heterosexism, cissexism, classism, and disaster capitalist practices on campus”. As such they have a list of bold ‘demands’ for the administration at the school. After diligent outreach and research, Hard Copy assembled this list of the Top 8 and added GIFS so people would read it.

 

  1. A free copy of The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance for each student

 

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Currently Seattle University only gives a free copy to incoming Freshmen and excludes transfer students.

 

  1. A wrist-watch for every adjunct and contingent faculty member

 

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The school only gives these watches to tenure-track and tenured professors. Administrators even get golden ones!

 

  1. Stir-Friday at C-Street

 

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RTM wants to bring the joys of Stir-Friday to this school through a mandated lunch and dinner program every week.

 

  1. Death Penalty for Students who don’t compost

 

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Current policy only gives a student 15 public lashings for violation of the compost doctrine. Following popular opinion on school, Reignite the Mission is pushing the school to publicly execute all students who don’t compost — or worse don’t recycle.

 

  1. More Frequent Spectator publications

 

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If their demand is followed, the school would triple the Spectator’s budget allowing them to hire more staff and publish a daily paper instead of a weekly one. Some forecasts estimate that readership for the school newspaper would rise from 2% weekly to 98%.

 

  1. Convert Connoley Sports Complex into a giant statue of socialist City Council member Kshama Sawant

 

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Having recently won reelection to her council seat, Sawant is an image of the future of left-wing politics in Seattle and the United States. This would be a dramatic shift from the Connoley Sports Complex which represents an anarcho-syndicalist rejection of the wage system in favor of locally run and operated worker collectives.

 

  1. Bread and Circuses

 

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RTM demands more bread and circuses for us, the laboring masses who relish in the simple things in life.

 

1.A teaching fellowship in the Film Studies Department for Tommy Wiseau

 

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The director, writer, and main actor of the 2003 film “The Room” deserves more. RTM believes that he would make a fine addition to the Jesuit mission of the school while reducing some of the oppression that exists on campus.

–Mark Wilson

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