Breaking: Seattle University Is Not A High School

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Seattle, WA – After middle schools began taking their students on tours of the Seattle University campus this spring, the school issued an official statement clearly stating that despite popular belief, Seattle University is in fact a college. The news took students and teachers alike by shock and a wave of reactionary actions has swept the campus. Many teachers are changing their courses entirely in an attempt to reflect a college education instead of their previous highschool lesson ways. Students have been phoning home throughout the day, proudly telling their parents they did in fact get into college. It wasn’t all smiles on campus however, as many middle schoolers left their campus tours disappointed and in need of another high school.

-Juan Albrook

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