Desperate SU Student Forced to use Potty Publication as Toilet Paper

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A TOILET STALL – Tragedy struck at Seattle University last week when Reuben Peterson ran out of toilet paper in a Campion Hall bathroom. Reuben was forced to do the only thing he could- he grabbed the latest issue of the Potty Publication and used it to wipe.

Seattle University Facilities tried to reach Reuben with a roll of toilet paper, but they were too late. By the time they reached that desecrated bathroom stall, a soggy, stool-stained Potty Publication was clogging the toilet before their eyes.

President “Steve Daddy” Sundborg has stated that Reuben will not be punished for this mishap, but that SU should take every action necessary in order to ensure that this never happens again. In a comment, Sundborg said, “Why did it have to be a Potty Publication? If only there was a copy of The Spectator nearby. If only…”

— Donnie Rhoads

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