I warn you. This article is not for the faint of heart.
Call me Ishmael. I moved here recently, from Santa Monica California, to work at Amazon in their marketing department. I’ve loved Seattle so far — the coffee shops, the progressive culture and the nightlife. Man, I thought I was in heaven. So many good restaurants and places to experience. Perhaps in this naïtivity I thought that I would always be wowed by this place.
Then I stepped into “Meat and Bread” — a restaurant just off Madison and not far from Broadway.
It started off so innocently. I sat down at one of their tables and was greeted by one of the friendly staff members. I ordered the bitterest cocktail I could find and asked the waiter for their ‘best’ sandwich. Though I don’t like labels, I must say I am a person of simple tastes. When I go into a restaurant, I like elegant and bold flavors that stand out. But, I am also someone who likes accountability. And I’ll tell you, this place was anything but accountable.
As I sipped on my gin-based drink, suddenly a plate was put down in front of me. I began to fade out of consciousness and could barely hear the waiter say “Here’s your sandwich”. Maybe it was the sharp bite of my gin and vermouth drink, or perhaps it was the abomination that was just placed before me. I felt like I had fallen off my fixed gear bike and hit my head on the pavement.
I wanted to throw up.
Before me was an unholy combination of meat, bread — *gasp* and tomato.
Dearest reader, I beg you to look away if you are indeed as terrified as I am. Sure enough I refused to eat — lest even look at the concoction that sat in front of me. When the waiter tried to find out what was wrong, I avoided their glace. I wanted nothing to do with these people or their ‘trendy’ tomatoes. I threw down the $20 for my cocktail and bolted out of the place. I didn’t make it far before I vomited all over the sidewalk.
I must have fought with the sickness for hours — people were calling my name as I fought with the ghastly image that burned itself into my brain. In time I have tried to come to terms with this battle that I faced. But know this, that “Meat and Bread” sandwich with the great red tomato has forever changed me.
I pray you might never know the level of disgust that I have faced.
Transcribed by Mark Wilson