Beaverton, Oregon — Game of Thrones is kicking the excitement up a notch this season. Thanks to assisted suicide laws, they can kill people in front of the camera to make each scene hyper realistic. “Over 100 people came forward wanting to commit suicide on set. Who wouldn’t?? If you’re going to do it, you may as well do it on your favorite show.” Showrunner David Beniof chortled.
“I’ve been looking for a way to go out with a bang. I think my role is to actually fight a group of White Walkers until I kick the bucket. Ya, I thought they were fake too, but apparently they have some real ice zombies. If I was going to choose which type of White Walker to be killed by, I’d probably prefer the ones with the blue eyes and wrinkled skin. The skeletal ones are pretty lame actually,” contemplated Rita Skumborg. Tonight’s episode will show Rita’s hilarious death.