Dean Kelly to Remove Cotton Gin from Classroom


Seattle University, Matteo Ricci College — In a shocking turn of events, Matteo Ricci College Dean Jodi Kelly has agreed to remove the College’s cotton gin that was stood in the middle of her office. Many speculate that the move may have been motivated by recent student protests about the curriculum, racial makeup, and teaching style of Matteo Ricci College — mostly by students of color.

“The cotton gin has an important place in our collective history” said Dean Jodi Kelly in a public statement “and in order to address the issues of our time, learning how beautiful the gears and wire mesh sound as the separate the soft cotton from the thorns and the seeds is integral for all students”.

“We need to recognize that institutions change slowly, and Matteo Ricci college seeks to understand the past through duplicating the past. We read the same scholars, have the same debates, and practice the same farming techniques so that students understand their place in the world as undergraduates” Kelly continued, “Sometimes that means doing things that are glorious, but students need to learn that only after you get your Master’s degree can you hope to make a change in the world”.

While students applaud the removal of the outdated equipment which is attributed for a massive growth in slavery during the 1800’s, they are pushing the College do more. Though Dean Kelly has already refused to remove her framed portrait of Executive Order 9066 — which authorized the removal of all people of Japanese ancestry from the West Coast — or the “Blue Lives Matter” poster above her desk.

–Mark Wilson


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