SEATTLE, WA – Seattle local Jess Whitman has saved the world from global warming after going vegan, pointing out that she saves 100’s of animals from being killed every year. The local hero remains humble though, stating “Even though I am well aware I have probably saved the world from a mass global extinction and global warming, I still must continue my work, by letting everyone know just how vegan I am and how awful they are for not being vegan.” Unfortunately, Jess is receiving jealousy fueled hate from many around the world. The meat and dairy industry continues to live in denial, stating that all the vegans in the world have “minimum impact” on their industry. And environmental scientists, clearly jealous Jess beat them to a sustainable global solution, have ridiculed her declaration.
— Juan Albrook