Don’t Worry, The Mariners Will Find a Way to Disappoint You Soon


Wow, the Mariners are really lighting it up on the diamond. First in the AL West? Climbing higher in the power rankings? It seems like the Mariners have booked their ticket for the MLB Playoffs already… but we wouldn’t dare be so naive.

Listen, something is going to happen. The Mariners will find a way to disappoint you. Perhaps they’ll simply succumb to better baseball as the season progresses, displaying a gradual but inevitable failure. Perhaps Kyle Seager will break his leg. Perhaps Safeco Field will literally collapse under the weight of immense hubris. The method is irrelevant- failure is inevitable.

Am I being too cynical? Maybe. But what the hell have I got to lose here? I won’t cry myself to sleep if the Mariners end up disappointing their fans. We’ve all lived with shitty baseball in Seattle for a long, long time.

Prove me wrong, Mariners. I dare you.

— Donnie Rhoads


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