Five C-Street Cups: Ranked by Stickiness

C-Street, Seattle U, Library Side — Below you will find the most comprehensive list — might we be so bold in saying — of C-Street cups, ranked by how sticky they are. This is journalism folks. Cream of the crop. If Buzzfeed can do it, then so must we.

 

5:cup5.jpg

Oh yes. Look at this cup. While not the stickiest we encountered, there is definitely a thin lining of stick along the bottom. Still safe to drink out of.

 

4: cup4.jpg

Mmmmmmm why do my hands feel weird? Oh, it must be the cup. Wow. Are people actually reading this? Do you know if Buzzfeed … or Clickhole … are hiring? But, back to the stickiness, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Likely safe to drink out of.

 

3: cup3.jpg

Damn that’s some stick! But you’ve already sat down, and you got the wok so you waited for quite a long time. It’ll probably be okay. Plus the Health Center has a pretty cheap co-pay should anything bad happen. 50/50 safe to drink out of.

 

2: cup2.jpg

Is that Redhawk sauce on the cup? Why does the cup smell like bleach if it’s clearly not clean? How did journalism turn into pure click-bait titles just to get a like on Facebook? People don’t even read this far into an article anymore. The cup though, probably too dirty. Maybe go get another one. Likely not safe to drink out of.

 

1: cup1.jpg

Ole’ Stickmeister himself. King Sticky. Chairman of the Workers’ Socialist Sticky Party. Is that a ring of something at the bottom — maybe a spit cup for a chewer of the tobacco? I thought tobacco free campus would have changed that. Oh well. Maybe get a smoothie instead. Definitely not safe to drink out of.

–Mark Wilson

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