The 5 Hard Copy Articles You Probably Haven’t Read and Why We Think That’s the Case

We here at Hard Copy are always striving to be better and better. A part of our quest for perfection is examining why you don’t click on all of our articles. We have hired three leprechauns to spy over your shoulders while you’re reading Hard Copy to get a survey of what you’re reading and what you’re not. Based on their feedback, you’re not clicking on a few of our articles. Here’s why we think you’re not clicking on these five particular articles:

  1. “Fight of the Century” Part II: One Direction hc1

You didn’t think this was an article. You thought it was just an awesome photo with an even more awesome caption. I get it and we’ll do better next time.

  1. Rick Santorum Comes Out as Human hc2

All you fucks love Rick Santorum and can’t stand seeing him be made fun of. To be honest? I find him really gutturally attractive but wouldn’t let that sway me towards voting for him. I’m for Jim Webb 2020.

  1. If You Prefer Single-Stuffed Oreos, You Don’t Deserve Oreos At All hc3.png

This one probably made you all anxious because the picture has single stuffed Oreos. All of you hate single stuffed so much that you thought this might be a bunch of pictures of the things you loathe? I’ll tell Donnie Rhoads to do a pic of double stuff next time.

  1. Parents Around Country Worried About New Drug “Lemonade” hc4.png

You fucks are still high on Lemonade. Once you come down, click on this link ;D

  1. “Take it Off” Whispers Voyeuristic Air Traffic Controller hc5.png

You people still get uncomfortable when Hard Copy refers to being sexually attracted to aircraft? We live in S-E-A-T-T-L-E and in case you forgot this is where B-O-E-I-N-G is located. If you don’t think at least some aerophilia is going to pop up, you’re fooling yourself and if you don’t think you are attracted to planes, don’t knock it till you try it ;D

-Chip Otlecoli


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