SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – Several Jesuit priests are facing disciplinary action after they were caught throwing a rager in the Chapel of St. Ignatius. Several reports confirm that 5+ kegs were in rotation.
“And I would’ve won king’s cup if it weren’t for you meddling administrators,” commented Fr. Larry Robb as he was being arrested by SPD. “You wussies can’t handle true Jesuit values. Society of Jesus? Try Society of Jagermeister.” Robb then proceeded to vomit in a bush.
Jesuit priests at Seattle University have a notorious history of breaking the rules, especially regarding drugs and alcohol. Student testimonies report the smell of marijuana coming from Fr. Matt Pwohy’s room on the second floor of Campion Residence Hall.
— Ronnie Dhoads