Arrupe House, 11:30 PM — “Steve! Time to go to bed!” shouted the Head Jesuit of Arrupe House from downstairs “Just a minute!” replied an excited Father Steve Sundborg. This is it! He thought to himself as he clicked accept. At last, he — Father Steve — was on the interwebs. He had conquered social media. He had a Facebook account.
“Ahh gee whiz, I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight!” he said to the Head Jesuit as he was tucked into bed “I’m just too excited about this whole Facebook thing”. “Now Steve, I don’t want you spending more than 30 minutes a day on that thing!” said the Head Jesuit in a stern voice, “Now how about a bedtime story from the Five-year Strategic Plan?”
After storytime, it was reported that Father Steve had snuck out of his bed down to the community computer at the Jesuit Arrupe House and had uploaded several commencement pictures, had liked pages for “Seattle University”, “The Sacrament of Communion [official page]”, “Heat Maps”, and “Star Wars”, and sent several friend requests to Provost Isiaah Crawford, Father Peter Ely, and even his old pal Blaze from Alaska.
— Mark Wilson