Mass Class Failing Occurring As Seniors Approach Real Life


SEATTLE, WA – What started last quarter as a seemingly innocent statistical anomaly, has grown into a full blown epidemic. Seattle University recently declared in an official statement that more than 50% of seniors pursuing humanities majors are failing or have failed at least one class that is necessary to graduate. With the responsibilities of adulthood fast approaching and the chance of grabbing an ideal job slim, it seems seniors just don’t want to graduate. “I was applying to a job to be a sales rep at a paper company while also looking for a place to rent I could afford, and I just realized I didn’t want to graduate yet.” Said Senior Tom Cahest. “I mean I know it’ll be more debt for me, but I just can’t face real life yet.” The school has made no acts to counter this alarming trend, instead urging students to “think about it.” Father Sundborg reiterated this idea, saying “I think it’s important students make sure they are really ready to graduate, there really isn’t any harm in paying for- I mean taking a few more classes.”

-Juan Albrook


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