SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – Students at SU gladly took cold showers this past Monday as the administration decided to turn off the water heaters in remembrance of Memorial Day. One student praised the decision, calling it “wildly unnecessary and showy- the perfect gesture to those who served and died for our country.”
“We’ve thought it over, but we really think this is the best way to commit to the spirit of Memorial Day,” said Father Sundborg in a press conference. “We are prepared to handle any possible consequences, which include the following: No hot coffee or tea, possible unsanitary conditions in kitchens that require hot water to wash dishes, a sharp decline in student showers, or having to shut down our steam engines*.”
*Seattle University steam engines provide 80% of the university’s power.
— Ronnie Dhoads