Just in: High School Friend SO Different Now

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HOMETOWN, WA – After an arduous first year of college, most of us believed ourselves to be wiser, more mature, and a bit more street savvy. Tiffany, although graduating salutatorian from Matthew McConaughey High School out near Spokane, has now seemed to downgrade from the gem she used to be. Now, her persistent chain-smoking, boyfriend with the dead snaggle-tooth and Chinese character tattoos, and constant bragging about how effed-up she’s been getting on week nights has led her to believe that she has become better than everyone she grew up with.

This story continues to develop as Tiffany begins to revert back to her pre-collegiate self alongside her old high school friends throughout the summertime. But as they reminisce over old memories, Tiffany’s friends know that as soon as she goes back to Whatever State University to study whatever it is she pretends to be passionate about, she’ll slowly morph back into the terrible snaggle-tooth-sucking, SnapChat addicted party animal her friends can no longer stand.

–Thin Diesel

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