Mitt Romney Spotted Playing Pokemon Go Shirtless in Yellowstone Park

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Somewhere in Wyoming — When asked about his future plans regarding the Republican Party, Mitt Romney’s response was, “Ughh. Another fucking Pidgey.” He then proceeded to pound an entire Monster Energy Drink, and his eyes became wild as he then exclaimed, “Oh my good God… is that a Charmander?” and starting running full-speed toward a mountain. No one has seen Mitt Romney since. His wives are quite concerned. His twelfth son Chug has reported, “We haven’t seen him in weeks, we just want him to come home.”

Dunkin’ McSugarwafer

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