Let’s face it, recently the printers have been more than a little slow lately. And even when they do work, there seems to be a shortage of paper! Hard Copy decided to investigate, and found that any of the following could be reasons for the recent issues:
- St. Ignatius set them all on fire.
- Dean Kelly was filling the paper and fixing the printers at night.
- Hillary Clinton lost the printer access code in her private email.
- The massive new freshmen class placed unprecedented demands on the system.
- In celebration of the 125th anniversary, we are going back to the technology we had in 1891.
- Trump was right! Hackers from CHINA got to us.
- Reignite the Mission has a new list of demands and needs a lot of printing capacity.
- The Spectator needs them to run their massive journalism databases.
- The school wants a new tech fee and is slowing everything down to justify it.
- The RAs have used up all the paper for their new Welcome Back Boards.
— Mark Wilson