Hard Copy Investigates: Seattle University Printers


Let’s face it, recently the printers have been more than a little slow lately. And even when they do work, there seems to be a shortage of paper! Hard Copy decided to investigate, and found that any of the following could be reasons for the recent issues:

  1. St. Ignatius set them all on fire.
  2. Dean Kelly was filling the paper and fixing the printers at night.
  3. Hillary Clinton lost the printer access code in her private email.
  4. The massive new freshmen class placed unprecedented demands on the system.
  5. In celebration of the 125th anniversary, we are going back to the technology we had in 1891.  
  6. Trump was right! Hackers from CHINA got to us.
  7. Reignite the Mission has a new list of demands and needs a lot of printing capacity.
  8. The Spectator needs them to run their massive journalism databases.
  9. The school wants a new tech fee and is slowing everything down to justify it.
  10. The RAs have used up all the paper for their new Welcome Back Boards.

— Mark Wilson


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