Who Said It? Jill Stein or this Melon?

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“We should defend indigenous rights, lands and treaties”

A: Jill Stein listed this in her platform for president in 2016.

 

“Hillary Clinton needs to release her Wall Street speech transcripts”

A: A cantaloupe in my fruit bowl said this to me on the morning of September 23rd.

 

“We should abolish the death penalty”

A: This was in Jill Stein’s platform for president in both 2012 and 2016.

 

“Student debt is reaching crisis levels and we need to develop equitable ways to help students reduce current debt levels and make school more affordable in the future”

A: A Watermelon at the Farmer’s Market screamed this at me last Sunday.

 

“I am a delicious piece of fruit, though my rinds may be bitter and tough”

A: Jill Stein posted this on twitter after Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race.

 

“I’ve never held a statewide or federal elected office”

A: A piece of Honeydew melon whispered this to me when I opened my fridge two weeks ago.

 

“Chomp chomp. Yum Yum. Don’t forget to pick out the seeds”

A: Jill Stein responded with this quip after being asked her position on vaccinations

 

“I’m 100% compostable”

A: Jill Stein, unprompted

 

“We should build a wall and make Mexico pay for it”

A: Trick question! This was said by the banana I had with my lunch.  

 

— Mark Wilson

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