It’s that time of the year again when you scramble through your closet searching for your old costume from last year, only to suddenly remember that it’s 2016 and nobody remembers who Mitt Romney it or his “binders full of women” comment. Hard Copy has decided to help you in your quest to be cool and fit in with all your friends costumes and has compiled this list at great personal risk and vigorous research.
- A bistro pizza
- These come in all shapes and sizes so there is really no way to mess this one up.
- The Spectator
- Tape a couple spectators to your clothes and leave copies of the school newspaper all around your friend’s house. They’ll thank you later!
- Rudy the Redhawk
- While a little controversial due to Rudy’s current struggle with opium addiction, this costume requires just a bunch of red feathers and you are good to go! Don’t forget your school spirit!
- A Re-Ignite the Mission Activist
- Cigarettes… check! Old flannel … check! Ratty jeans … check! Abundant white and class privilege… check!
- A Jaded Shell of Self-Loathing
- Simply put on your black clothes and eyeliner, look at required qualifications for entry level jobs, follow “Nihilist Memes” on Facebook and you are ready to hit the town!
- Jill Stein
- Put on your old lady clothes, get on your pedestal and advocate for vaccine skepticism all night. Perfect for people who weren’t invited to the two big parties.
- Hillary Clinton
- We have been payed a large amount of money to omit this costume idea.
- Hard Copy
- Go as your local subpar online satire magazine! Get ready for the blank stares and confused looks though.
— Mark Wilson