Democrats Blast “In Your Eyes” from Boom Box into Bernie’s Bedroom


Suburban Vermont – It’s a love story for the ages. After years of being contently strong and independent, Bernie Sanders decided to trust a party again – he started going out with the Democrats. He was nervous at first, but eventually he trusted the party enough to declare his affiliation for the 2016 presidential election. They had gone all the way. However in July, Bernie was devastated to discover that the Democrats had cheated on him. They had gone behind Bernie’s back to favor the other candidate with a Democratic affiliation, and as a result, Bernie lost the Democratic nomination for the Primary.

Months later, the Democratic party showed up to Bernie’s house in the middle of the night, blasting Phil Collins’ “In Your Eyes” from a boom box.

They shouted into his window:

“Bernie! Bernie, I’m sorry, baby! I was stupid, and I was scared. I know that’s no excuse for what I did, but I want you to know that I truly love you! Hillary just used so many mind games, and told us that we’d lose our health care if we didn’t favor her, but I realize now that we’re losing our health care anyway! So please Bernie, take us back. I… I miss you. You’re my everything.”

Cringles McPoyal


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