CFO Connie Kanter Hands Out Pepsi at Divestment Rally

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Seattle University — In a recent Divest from Fossil Fuels rally, Chief Financial Officer Connie Kanter was reportedly seen handing out Pepsi drinks to student protesters.

“It’s really great that we could all come together to enjoy the refreshing taste of a Pepsi. Though we may disagree on politics, at the end of the day we are all people” said student activist Kerry McPerry, a Junior Environmental Studies major, “I’m glad to know she cares about us”.

Despite the generous offering, the school appears to not have made new moves towards divesting its assets of fossil fuels or by switching to a new manager of Seattle University’s mutual funds.

Father Steve-Daddy Funborg appeared more concerned with the violation of the school’s contract with Coca-Cola than with the protest itself or the actions by the CFO.

— Mark Wilson

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