SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – Following what many considered to be a savvy marketing campaign titled One of the Ones, a new study has revealed that most Seattle University students consider themselves to be One of the Twos or even One of the Threes or Fours.
Several student and staff member testimonials demonstrate the failure of the One of the Ones campaign:
- “Someone told me I was One of the Ones. However, I always considered first to be worst, second to be best, and third to have a treasure chest.” – Glenbob Johnsmith
- “Listen, I’m One of the Threes and all I have is a hairy chest. Don’t listen to Glenbob.” – Bobglen Smithjohn
- “Numbers are great for counting how many fingers and toes I have. I’m One of the Twenty-Sixes.” – President Stephen Sundborg. During this quote, President Sundborg removed his shoes to reveal that he has eight toes on each foot. “I’m an excellent swimmer thanks to my many toes.”
— Ronnie Dhoads