COVERAGE OF IMPORTANT SEATTLE UNIVERSITY NEWS CAN WAIT… there’s a motherf*cking rainbow outside.
“Stop the presses!!” yelled one of the editors. “For the love of God and Father Sundborg and Jesus on Easter Sunday and Rudy the Redhawk and Beyonce’s unborn child and all that is holy, would somebody please open the F*CKING window!!”
The Spectator was anarchy, as none of them had ever seen or experienced a rainbow before. Some were obviously confused as one reporter reacted, “How did the LGBTQ community get their exclusively designed symbol manufactured into the air?”
The Spectator head fact-checker, equally as confused, exclaimed, “OOH-OOH AAH-AAH,” and promptly ate a banana before throwing his feces around the room.
They got back to business as soon as the rainbow went away, but the mood of the meeting had most certainly changed.