Hard Copy was given classified information regarding who is playing this year’s Quadstock Festival. We were sworn to secrecy by SEAC, but we just cannot let this information go unsaid any longer:
1.) Morado – this SU band won SEAC’s annual Battle of the Bands, and is sure to put on an incredible indie-rock performance to start off the show.
2.) 3 Doors Down – In a risky move by SEAC, heavy rock band 3 Doors Down, who gained notoriety by performing at President Trump’s inauguration, has been booked to play second. I’m not sure how people will react, but I’m imaging not well.
3.) Linda, the C-Street Cashier – None of us at Hard Copy have any idea what to expect from Linda’s performance. If we had to guess, we would say it would be something analogous to STOMP! involving the percussive and rhythmic sounds of opening and closing a C-Street cash register. Needless to say, we’re in for an exciting show from Linda.
4.) Dean Kelly and the Adjuncts – In their first show since they dropped their single “Does Everybody Still Think I’m Racist?” Dean Kelly and the Adjuncts are gearing up for an electrifying set at Quadstock. Apparently, instead of confetti, they plan on dropping Eurocentric and ignorance-laden curricula into the audience after their final number.
5.) Rudy the Motherfuckin’ Redhawk – Of course it is! We’re all super excited to get pumped up by Rudy for a full thirty minutes.
There you have it, folks. Apologies to SEAC for stealing their thunder, but it had to be done.