Inspiring Footage Found of Bernie Sanders Promising Equal Tater Tot Portions and Soda in Water Fountains if Elected Student Government President

Armon Sa, former 4th-grade class mate of Bernie Sanders, released inspiring footage to the media early this morning. The footage, which has since been taken off line, shows an passionate young Sanders delivering a speech to Sunny Hills Elementary School, demanding equal tater tots for all the students and promising longer recess and soda in…

Voter’s Rejoice! He Who Walks Behind the Rows has made a Presidential Endorsement!

Every four years, voters across the United States are faced with the question of who should be the next Commander-in-Chief. Often this process takes months, with candidates traveling the nation spreading their message to voters, seeking endorsements from various Unions and Corporations, and influential individuals. In the Midwest however, former governors, senators or organizations all…

Alphabet Inc. to Reorganize into New, Broader Company: Literally Everything Inc.

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – In an online announcement earlier this week, Alphabet Inc. (new holding company of Google) confirmed yet another planned company restructuring. Google and all other Google-related services will operate under Literally Everything Incorporated. “Our initial goal in creating Alphabet Inc. was to expand Google’s operations beyond the internet and technology industries,” explained…