Hard Copy Advice Column 2

Tips for charging my laptop? Chip Otlecoli: Just put it like 40 feet away from you, get your angry eyes on, start sprinting at it, unleash a battle cry, and tackle it once you get close. That’s how you charge a laptop. Donnie Rhoads: The judicial system is your best bet for this one, but…

BREAKING: Cooties Outbreak at Local Elementary School

SEATTLE, WA – Absolute pandemonium has ensued at Bailey Gatzert Elementary School with the recent discovery of a deadly cooties outbreak. Parents are pulling their children from schools and some teachers even refuse to come to work. The source of the cooties virus has been tracked to Sally Burlington, who is now being called “patient…

Voter’s Rejoice! He Who Walks Behind the Rows has made a Presidential Endorsement!

Every four years, voters across the United States are faced with the question of who should be the next Commander-in-Chief. Often this process takes months, with candidates traveling the nation spreading their message to voters, seeking endorsements from various Unions and Corporations, and influential individuals. In the Midwest however, former governors, senators or organizations all…