Veganism Hasn’t Decreased Friend’s Dickishness

Fremont, Seattle — Sources close to local asshole and college student Aidan Smith reported that after becoming a vegan, Smith is “just about as much of a dick as before.” “Yea at first when he told us he was going vegan, we were really worried that Aidan would become even more of a dick,” a…

Students Nail Final Presentation Conclusion with “So… Yeah.”

ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — It is a difficult task to summarize an entire term’s worth of knowledge obtained from a Theology UCOR. Some choose to restate their original thesis. Some choose to add a quirky cliff-hanger like “What would the Jesuits of those days think about today?” But Brandon and Kyle, despite the controversy that arose…

Just in: High School Friend SO Different Now

  HOMETOWN, WA – After an arduous first year of college, most of us believed ourselves to be wiser, more mature, and a bit more street savvy. Tiffany, although graduating salutatorian from Matthew McConaughey High School out near Spokane, has now seemed to downgrade from the gem she used to be. Now, her persistent chain-smoking,…

SU Conveniently Announces Elevator Maintenance Right Before Finals

In predictable fashion, Seattle University has announced mass elevator maintenance right before the quarter actually starts becoming really hard. With dead week and finals around the corner, SU Facilities plans to shut down and perform maintenance on 20+ elevators around campus. Hard Copy reached out to Wrench McCallan, the head of Facilities, for a comment:…