Trump Accuses Spectator of Fake News

Washington — In a recent press conference, President Donald Trump has accused treasured Seattle University icon and pulitzer prize winning publication The Spectator of being “fake news”. “There are a lot of bad, bad people in the media let me tell you. Lot of haters, attacking successful business people like myself. Horrible, I mean where…

Trump Gives back Indigenous Land to Steal it Again

Washington D.C — In a surprise announcement President Donald Trump unveiled a new Executive Order requiring the immediate removal of all non-indigenous people off of indigenous lands. But before civil-rights activists could take to the street in celebration, Trump uncovered a second part of the order: his plans to forcibly recapture the territory. “First, we…

Hard Copy Investigates: Seattle University Printers

Let’s face it, recently the printers have been more than a little slow lately. And even when they do work, there seems to be a shortage of paper! Hard Copy decided to investigate, and found that any of the following could be reasons for the recent issues: St. Ignatius set them all on fire. Dean…