Father Sundborg Accidentally Loses University Endowment in Pyramid Scheme

In a disappointing turn of events, it has been revealed that Father Sundborg has lost Seattle University’s entire endowment fund in a not-so-elaborate pyramid scheme. Seattle University is now down several million dollars, but has recently acquired thousands of GoodMuscle™ protein supplement units. “Listen, if you were offered incredible profits AND toned abs and pecs,…

Up-And-Coming Rapper “Schoolboy Sundborg” to Headline Quadstock

SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – Excitement is in the air following the Quadstock Reveal Party, as it was announced that Schoolboy Sundborg will be headlining the annual Seattle University concert. Sources close to SEAC say that it’s relatively surprising that Schoolboy Sundborg hasn’t performed at Quadstock before, given that the talented artist literally works at SU. An…