Facebook Friend Too Into Clickhole

The Internet, Al Gore’s Basement — Social Media users everywhere groaned in unison as that one annoying friend from college was sharing another post from The Onion sister project, Clickhole. “It’s not funny, it’s just really stupid,” said local Facebook user Lacey Higgens. Clickhole, whose mission statement is “All content deserves to go viral,” often…

Kid Rubs Eyes Bloodshot to Seem More Stoned

Hometown, USA – “I’m so high! Woah man, is this real life?! Does anyone have a box of Cheez-Its? I have such a bad case of the munchies right now! You all know what I’m talking about because you are all also high! Wow, I think I’m hallucinating! Does anyone else see that funny elephant?…

Summertime Sadness Hits Students Not Going Abroad

After repeating the answer “I’m looking forward to summer break. I finally get a chance to relax.” twenty times to their curious friends, the five students who are not going abroad this summer, are finally being hit with the Summer Time Sadness. “It happens to a lot of students,” said Ilana Beck, an advisor at…

“It’s Fine” Remarks Passive-Aggressive Friend

“It’s fine,” remarked local woman, Clarice Donovan– who prefers conflict resolution through indirect hostility — in response to a question about her roommate’s friends from high school staying over for a few days. “This is great!” replied Tad Smith, the roommate, “I haven’t seen these guys in years and it will be great for them…