Balloon in Stratosphere Not Ready to Die

After floating some 32 miles into the air on Sunday afternoon, panicked local party balloon Red spat rushed prayers to a God that could not hear him: “Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” the helium-and-vertigo filled piece of colored, stretchy plastic said aloud, as his insides continued to carry him upward into space. “It’s not fair, man.…